I’ve just spent two weeks in north Lancashire where I was lucky to be able to work in a few of my projects, especially the Bowland photo series and film. Although I have lived in the area and feel very passionate about it, it’s often difficult for me to approach people in key positions to help me carry out my work, to give me access to their world. I’m too shy and worst of all really scared of refusal, so I often focus on the nature and human free part of the projects, but I know it’s not enough to accomplish what I’ve set out to do. This is by far my biggest deterrent. Sometimes when I feel confident enough and I’m able to overcome social obstacles, it makes me feel strong and offers me a glimpse of what I can achieve, and then for a little while I’m hopeful that things will get better.
Another difficulty I’ve had has been the weight of the equipment. I’m too ambitious in that I want to do a two or three person’s job at once and often feel really exhausted and sore by the end of the day. The only way I have found to overcome this has been to work really slowly and really do one thing at a time.
I’m back in Cambridge with lots of new film footage, new sound and 9 rolls of unprocessed film, so lots to keep me busy, yet I’m eager to go back again as soon as I can.